An ode to self

We thought our souls were islands,
abandoned;
waiting to be salvaged
By someone kind enough
to name them

We thought our bodies were a shrine,
deserted;
begging to be paid homage
By a pilgrim willing enough
to make the journey

We thought once ravaged,
Once our hearts were torn
from our chest and left
to writhe in the sun
We would wither
Like a rose
which only lived in longing
Until all that was left
were thorns of desolation

We thought
and we thought.
Only if
We believed
what the universe
had been telling us all along

That we were an explosion
carefully woven in the stars
A shower that broke the spell
of a harsh summer
The wind that made the buds
bloom.

That we could not be
Ravaged
And we could not be
Deserted
And we could not be
Abandoned

That on our own we were
just enough.
Perhaps more.

I don't have a name yet; but if I did it would be called dear diary

The month of April has arrived at our doorsteps and it gives us a clear memo of who we are every fool's day. It's April now and my life has been sucking. Very much. And I feel like a character off Lemony Snicket's tale of unfortunate events. But I guess I don't really have permission to rant too much as I am not as unfortunate as the millions of people who have much lesser than me. Fair enough, although in my defense it was never so much about having as it was about giving; and I'm afraid I haven't been able to give very much. To friends or family, lovers or enemies, or even myself. Funny, I feel empty even though I haven't let much out of my grasp. Maybe I didn't have much in my grasp in the first place.
Every year we tell ourselves, this year is going to be different; it's going to be my year. By the mid of it, we resign; saying aw, probably next year. Then the next..then the next..and it just withers away. We wither away. And we decide aw, maybe next life. Thank god Hindu mythology gives you a lot of lives to squander away like that. It's April now. One third of the year has gone by. In two months half the year would have passed. And it was just yesterday that I was narrating tales of my naughty new year's eve. Anyway, my life has been sucking right now. But I wouldn't wait for the half year mark to say Aw, next year.
Nope.